3 posts tagged “parenting”
In the interest of decreasing their future therapist bills, I resolve to stop referring to my children as "Spazpants" (the eldest) and "Fatty Fat Fat Fat" (the baby). Said resolution will go into effect as soon as they FREAKIN' NAP!!!!!
I'm at work today, advising students, grading papers, and trying to think of a way to stretch a few random thoughts into a two hour lecture on The Tempest tonight. I spent yesterday trying to clean for a relative's visit and looking after two cranky small creatures who would not believe me when I claimed that a nap would solve all their attitude problems. I have insomnia something fierce and wasted two hours early this morning reloading metafilter and playing solitaire. I am exhausted, trying to get used to a larger family while fitting a full-time job (5/5 comp course load, plus committee work) in part-time hours so I can stay at home with the urchins and somehow guide their development while lying exhausted on the floor.
In gmail this morning, the customized text ad above my inbox read "Are you a Slacker Mom?"
Fuck you, google.
I took Luke to his first movie-theater movie this morning. My mother-in-law had tried to take him to see Curious George last year, but on the way into the mall theater, they were surrounded by ads for Ice Age II, and Luke became too terrified to go any further. He's a strange little guy - he can watch virtual dinosaurs tear each other to bits, and he was disappointed when I couldn't find a Finding Nemo cake that showed the barracuda eating Nemo's family, but the grotesque really disturbs him. Case in point, he's currently enjoying the Toy Story movies, and the parts that had him hiding behind the couch weren't the mean kid's Frankentoys or Woody's nightmare about being smothered by dismembered arms. No, he was scared of the cute rubber aliens. Because they have three eyes. Three eyes is bad. So, the google-eyed Ice Age characters gave him the creeps.
It sounds like I let my kids watch too much TV. Honestly, I don't. Well, maybe I do. At least they won't grow up to be one of those insufferable prats who brag about how they family didn't have a television, and that's why they don't get every other reference you make.
Anyway, we went to see the relatively harmless Cars, which was not my favorite Pixar film to date but, being Pixar, was ten times better than most other movies being made today, especially those for kids. I let Luke pick out the candy - a gargantuan bag of Skittles - and combined with the popcorn that I felt was necessary for the first movie experience, the kid was ready to hurl about 30 minutes into the film. He asked to go home several times in the middle of the film, usually when the cars were having meaningful conversations, but I made us stay - I felt like it was important to impress upon him that this wasn't a video, dammit, but an outing that you need to commit to until the end. As Steve's mom told me later, I'm lucky he didn't throw up all over me.
His reaction to the film was lukewarm, but he's used to seeing movies over and over again, and for most films, he really only starts to enjoy them once he knows them well enough to predict every scene. And the movie did have some slow periods. But he was very confused with the previews, and I had a hard time explaining some of the pre-movie "entertainment" (which went on for 25 minutes) to him. Why does Cinemark insist on showing its logo on the screen for a few minutes while it appears to be underwater? Why are the Fanta girls so loud and scary? Why are the deer and the bear blowing up cars? Can we see the cars blow up again?
He said he would go back with me again to see another movie. I hope he starts to enjoy the process more. I never see movies in the theater anymore. I used to be a huge film-buff, but I haven't been interested in most of the movies that have come out in the past, oh, six years or so, and the titles I do want to see, I usually can wait until they're on video. But watching Luke experience the size and the "grandeur," cloying and fake though it was, was wonderful. I love seeing him discover things that I've long taken for granted.
But there is no way in hell I'm taking him to see that Ashton Kutcher-voiced deer movie.
